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By Blujdj (dendy_ellis@yahoo.com) edited by Pete


It's February 21, 1993. My watch says I am thirty minutes late for my interview. I look at myself in the window of the dress shop and thought, "Not bad." Not bad at all for a forty five year old mom of four kids and a grandmother of two. I've lost ninety seven pounds and my size ten jeans feel so damn good. I feel sexy and young when I wear my jeans.

My weight a year ago was out of control and it took two car wrecks and a divorce to drop the pounds off. Still, I wasn't skinny, but I was proud of the weight I had lost and now in the window I see a different person. I love the comments from people I don't know, like, "You could pass for a thirty year old." My hair, I dyed back to the color I had when I first met Ron and it was really light. I just have to find out if green eyed blondes have more fun like I have always heard. I bet I can in this west Texas town.

My divorce became final today. I was married for twenty seven years. Ron, a drowning, abusive, alcoholic didn't want to be saved. It was time to let him drown before he took me with him. I couldn't do it anymore and the beatings were repeated way to often. Now here I am, at my job interview in Odessa, Texas.

I was living in New York City. My best friend Carla, told me her sister Deann was the owner of a dress shop, and would help me, but she told me to be careful as she was known to be a gossip, a back-stabber, and that is why Carla couldn't stand her. She never really said too much about Deann's husband, Sean Michael. Yet, I had made this decision to completely start over and I would use whatever and whoever, even Deann if I must, to get the life I now needed. If I really was through with Ron, it was now or never.

Two weeks here in Odessa and I still don't know anyone. Well, I know the lady at the corner seven eleven, but I don't remember her name. And I know the maintenance man, Jack. My key broke off in the lock the first night I was here and he spent three hours trying to fix it. Between the two of us we smoked a pack and a half of cigarettes and finished off a twelve pack of Coors Light. He was nice and finally had me in my apartment by three in the morning.

He kept asking, "Are you sure you won't go out on a date with me?" Since I really didn't know him that well, I told him my fiancé would be coming to join me here in a few months. He was nice, but not that nice. I just couldn't get over all this flirting and attention I was getting.

It made me feel good and I didn't feel ugly as I always had with Ron. Yes, it is definitely a big change from New York. Carla told me Odessa was one of the friendliest places she had ever been. Everyone I have met proved this to be true. I like this place, the people, their way of speaking, and even the way they all wave as they pass you in their vehicles, even though they haven't a clue as to who the hell you are.

I walked inside the dress shop and up to the counter. I recognized one of the sales ladies to be Deann from the photo that Carla gave me. Before I could say anything, Deann eyed me up and down, and said, "Hi there."

She had the most annoying, whiney voice. She was from Texas alright, and you could hear that in her slang. A very small, skinny woman, with no breasts, the longest fingernails I had ever seen, and mousy brown hair. Her best feature would have to be her icy blue eyes. They were kind eyes though, but she has got to be wearing contacts, I thought to myself.

I almost laughed out loud, at that voice, those nails, and how she might sound to her husband, Sean Michael. I could just hear her, especially early in the morning, and being woke up to that whine. She was a person I would not pick to strike up a conversation with, and I had certainly never had the misfortune of being flatchested.

My 40 DD's with my light blonde hair, had already turned a few heads in the short time being here. I then said confidently, in my most professional New York tongue, "Hello, my name is Candace."

She looked at me very snobbishly, and replied, "Candy, I knew it was you the minute you came in the store." Oh my God, she called me Candy! No ever one calls me Candy! Not even my best friend! Not even my ex! Not even my own mother! "Ah-hem, excuse me, it's Candace," I proudly said. "I'm sorry not to have called you, but I have been so busy trying to get moved in and settled."

She leaned in toward me and in a whisper said, "I know all the spots and I know all the spots on the spots. Don't worry, I am here for you. Just tell Deann, and you'll have it in a snap." And she snapped her long fingers, almost pricking my nose with her two inch nails.

I replied, "Well, thank you, I do appreciate all the help you and your husband have given me."

I truly meant that, because when I got here, my apartment was waiting, and ready for me to furnish, and she gave me this job, so I really should stick it out since I have no other options. Still standing close, she again whispered, "You start to work on Monday at 8am and this Friday, we're having a small dinner party and I insist that you come." I smiled and thought, Oh God, do I have to? She just looked at me said nothing. I finally said, "Thank you, I'd love to come."

We said goodbye and just before I got to the door to leave, Deann yells, "Oh, Candy, Friday, and seven sharp!" I turned and waved, not showing the anger for her calling me that name again and said, "Gotcha." I walked out, got in my car, and drove to my new home. I was so relieved that part was over. I could only wonder what her husband was like. That poor man.

I woke up early Friday to get an early start for the party. Some of my best dresses were still packed away and I had to go through them to find the right one. I literally had to kick my ass to get it out bed. It had been a long and stressful two weeks. I had tried to put up some of my things, but I was having some trouble getting used to this time change. I even went to buy some decorations, yet I just couldn't bring myself to do them.

Then Ron called four days in a row on my cell, wanting to know why I hadn't called him to give him my address. I lied and told him I had been under the weather. I didn't want to tell him I was enjoying the peace and quiet. I didn't tell him about my job, or my hair. I didn’t tell him what I was really thinking, "Leave me the fuck alone!" He never will need to know a damn thing about me again.

Looking in the mirror, the popular title, "Little Black Dress," fit me well. It was leather, very low in the front, and revealed my deep cleavage. It had cut outs to reveal my sides, and was about mid thigh. I laughed to myself thinking about Carla. She was always saying she wished she had a pair of legs like mine.

My long blonde hair, I decided, was to be left as it was, loose. Yes, I felt loose tonight and wanted to appear that way. I slipped on my three inch "Fuck Me" black high heels, grabbed my black sequined bag, and headed out the door deciding to forget New York and that low life son of a bitch I had wasted my life on.

I pulled up in front of the gates to the address Carla had given me. She told me she would pick me up, but I really didn't want to be in a position of not being able to leave if I needed to. So, I felt somewhat at ease knowing I could go home at anytime. I couldn't believe Deann's home was so huge.

The long drive to the front was a scenic one. Large trees and shrubs, flowers of every color, a pond with a small bridge built over it, stone statues, almost making it have a cemetery look to it. I laughed aloud as I passed a statue of Jesus with his hand upon the head of a small child. What was this woman trying to portray? Where did she get all this money? True, she owned a dress shop, but her husband Sean was a photographer. In my mind, that couldn't pay for all of this. One or the other has to have a rich Daddy. Probably Deann.

Still grinning as I parked my car, I checked myself in the mirror, reapplied my lip liner and lipstick, took a deep breath, and got out to fix my dress. My black bag slipped out from under my arm, fell on the brick drive, my lipstick and liner rolled out, and there lay my hand mirror, right side up. Thank goodness it was not broken.

How lucky I was, I thought as I bent down to pick up the contents and the bag. I looked under the car and didn't see the lipstick. "Oh great," I said aloud. I stood up and found myself staring at a man with the most handsome face and chocolate brown eyes I had ever seen. His hair was light brown with a little grey at his temples. "You must be Candy," he said with a grin.

As he leaned on top of the car with his hands folded, I noticed the lost tube of lipstick tucked within his long fingers of his right hand. I grinned back and said, "Candace is the name and you have my lipstick." His grin went into a full blown smile, showing straight white teeth. Full lips gave way to a slight curl in his smile as he replied, "It seems I have been misinformed again. I was told your name was Candy, but she never mentioned you were this beautiful."

I blushed and said, "We must be talking about Deann," and under my breath followed with, "I don't suppose she wouldn't inform you."

He looked at me puzzled and said, "What was that Darlin'?"

"Oh, I said shyly, my lipstick must have rolled under the hood."

He laughed and said, "Well I found it for ya and by the way, my name is Sean. I'm Deann's husband."

I watched him as he rose to his full height. He was about six feet tall and as he came around the car, I was not prepared for just how good looking he was. My heart was racing as he said, "Well, now that we got that out of the way, let's go and introduce you to everyone else. You do know that Carla is here?"

"Yes, I am looking forward to seeing her. I haven't seen her since last year." I had told Carla about my weight loss and I hoped she would recognize me, I thought as we walked up to the house.

I could smell his cologne and it really rocked my senses. Stop it Candace, I said to myself. He is married! I thought how odd a couple he and Deann made and what in the world had attracted him to her in the first place? He had a deep sexy voice, but not the Texas twang as Deann, although, grinning as I thought, he did call me ‘Darlin’.

We approached the large white pillars in front and he respectfully opened the door for me. The peach and rust Terrazzo floor spread out to the spiral staircase that led up, I presumed, to the bedrooms. To my left looked like a library, to the right, he was guiding me to a large room filled with guests. We entered and I immediately recognized that voice I so dreaded to hear. It was Deann whining "Candy, Candy." She threw her arms around me and gave me a wet kiss on my cheek.

Thank God I brought my car, I thought, mentally patting myself on my back. "Oh, I see you've met Sean Michael," Deann said.

Smiling, I said, "Yes, I have."

Proudly she replied, "Well, I told him to get his butt outside and watch for a blond with big hooters." Oh my God, she didn't just say what I thought she said! I wanted to turn and leave right then and go put on a turtleneck! But I just put on my best smile and pretended I didn't hear that comment.

The next thing I knew, Carla was by my side greeting me with a big hug and whispering in my ear, "Shit, you look so good !" "Damn good thing I am not a Lesbian !"

Then she said, "Told Ya about Deann."

I looked at her smiling and said, "Duh!" Carla had been my best friend for twenty three years and helped me through my divorce. She was about my height, deep auburn hair, and had always been smaller in weight than I. She had four children, almost the same ages of my own.

We had even been pregnant the same time twice together. We didn't plan that, it just happened that way. Whenever we were out together we always got looks from people like, "Wow, a blond and a redhead." They didn't know the bond we had and to see her now was like a cool drink on a hot day.

The night was spent with introductions to all the important people from Odessa. I met the Mayor and his wife, several lawyers, rich oil men, snobby wives, and many influential residents. Really though, no one there seemed to be a real close friend of Deann. Sean hung around the men and fit in well. Deann spent most of her time stopping quickly to make small comments on this and that, then to give orders to her servants. Poor people, I thought, having to take orders from that voice.

The party started to break up by ten and I was so glad to say goodnight. Both Sean and Deann walked the final guests to the doors and we all said goodbye. I didn't realize I was parked right next to Carla and we both agreed we needed a nightcap so we headed to a bar that she said was a lot more fun than where we had just been.

We pulled up to the bar called "Basin Nights" that was a popular Karaoke bar in Odessa. I realized my bag was missing. I had left it at Deann's house and Carla said it would be on me the next time we got a wild hair to do this. So, I decided I would tell Deann at work and hopefully she would bring it to me as I had plenty of makeup and I had no intentions of ever going back to her house again if I could get out of it.

We didn't sing at the bar, although the DJ wanted us too, but we did have a blast flirting and dancing with all the sexy good-looking Cowboys. One in particular, wanted me to go to breakfast with him. No, no, I thought. "Too soon for me," I told him. Carla and I sat there drinking until two in the morning, talking about the good, the bad, and ugly of our lives.

Divorce had been the best decision for us both. She had been divorced for five years and still single. I was celebrating mine right there and celebrating hard. When I started to cry, I knew she was right in telling me we needed to go to Pojo's. It was an all night cafe, right up the street, and coffee sounded wonderful. We sat for two more hours and finally I was sober enough to drive home alone.

As I opened my hung-over mind and eyes, I was so happy it was Saturday instead of Monday. What was I doing trying to drink as much as I did last night? A shower, a hot shower, that's what I needed. I stayed in the bathroom, letting the hot water pound on my head until it ran cold. I tried to fix me an egg sandwich but when I cracked the egg, I almost gagged. So, I opted for two peanut butter crackers. I lived on those when I was pregnant and my kids loved them too. I don't have to wonder why.

The weeks flew by and my job was so easy. I loved putting jewelry and dresses on the mannequins, fixing their hair with color coordinating hats and shoes, and posing their skinny cold bodies. But every day, I still had to deal with Deann and that voice.

It was worth it though, as I received many compliments from all the customers for my display windows. And believe it or not, I soon got a raise after only six weeks of being there. Deann said I was the best employee she had ever had. It was about this time, that one night; I was told I had to close up. Deann felt I was ready, and even though I was a might leery, I accepted. I fell into it quickly and even took the time to get my displays ready for the next day. I could do this full time if I were owner of my own shop.

Someday I will do this, I promised myself.

I gathered up my purse and I turned around making sure everything was ok and it all looked so good. I was proud of myself and you could see the big smile on my face all the way to my car. I was digging in my purse for my keys when a car pulled up beside me. I heard a familiar voice say, "Hi Darlin'."

I quickly turned around to see Deann's husband, Sean, grinning at me with those dark brown eyes making my stomach whirl with flutters. I grinned back and said, "Hi, what are you doing here?"

He just kept on grinning as he extended his right arm out the window, holding my black handbag in his long fingers that I had left at his and Deann's house, and I reached to grab it. He quickly pulled it back to him and that little curl on his lip raised up giving him an evil smirk as he said, "It's gonna cost you Darlin'."

Oh no, a player, not him, I thought. I can't believe Sean would be like this. He was so nice the first time I met him and I never would have figured him to be a man like this. Before I could answer, he said, "Candace, I only want you to have a cup of coffee with me. Deann told me to bring this to you. I really think it was an excuse to be sure you were closing up the shop the right way, her way. "Don't think I am trying to pick you up or that I have other intentions. It's a cup of coffee? OK?"

I didn't have time to think this one over and it had been a long day. I unhesitatingly answered, "That would be real nice, but I would really like to take my car."

I was at least thinking a head again, to have a way out of a sticky situation, if it happened to come along. He said, "Sure Darlin', you follow me."

I followed him up the street to I-Hop and we went inside and we sat down in the very back, in the smoking section. There were only two tables with customers and I was glad too, as I still felt uneasy being with him alone. He took two cigarettes, lit them, and handed me one. The conversation at first was about me and how good Deann said I was doing. Next we talked of how much of a change it was being here in Texas, and that I really liked the changes. Then it went to his business he was in, a photographer, and how much he loved taking pictures as well as collecting. Then he shocked me by saying, "I would really love to take a photo shoot of you."

I said, "Me? I wouldn't make a good subject and I couldn't be patient long enough for you to complete it." "Oh come on," he said, "I really want to do this with you. The first time I saw you I was blown away. You have such interesting features, quite beautiful, if I may say so?"

I was blushing and the heat was in my cheeks, not to mention other places in my body I didn't even want to think of. Was this a come on or was I just being my usual paranoid self? Again, I didn't have time to think about this one, or maybe I didn't want to take the time to think about this one. I wondered when and where this was going to happen, as he lit my second cigarette.

Curiously I asked, "So where is this supposed to take place?"

He said, as he lit his cigarette, and a sparkle in those drop dead gorgeous brown eyes, "My studio is right around the corner from Deann's shop and you can come by every night after work, or when it's convenient for you. However long it takes to get it completed Darlin' is entirely up to you. The more time you give me, the quicker I will work to complete it."

I didn't know what to think about all of this, but I shyly answered, "Ok, I'll do it."

We sat there for a fifth refill of coffee and another cigarette working out all the details of this shoot. He suggested what I was supposed to wear and what backgrounds and themes he wanted to use to compliment my hair and skin color. Dark colors would be best he said, to bring out my sea green eyes.

Oh my God, he noticed my eyes. That made me wonder what else he had noticed. Stop it Candace, I told myself. He is married, very married. Then he shocked me again by asking, "Have you ever thought about posing nude?" Oh Shit, there it is, I thought, the come on. He evidently read the surprise in my expression again for he quickly replied, "Candace, will you please stop thinking I am coming on to you? I am a Photographer. We all ask this question, Darlin'."

I looked away and felt embarrassed that he could read me so easily. Damn him, I thought. How can he do that? He is way too perceptive of me, and he doesn't even know me! So I looked right into his eyes to try to convince him, and said, "Will you stop saying you know what I am thinking? You do not even know me, and you certainly don't have a clue as to what I am thinking. So, stop it, please? And no, I have never thought about posing in the nude and I don't want to."

I looked down and into my cup of coffee, hoping I had been convincing. He grinned, showing those straight white teeth and said, "Ok Darlin', it's all set."

He handed me his business card and without looking, I slipped it into my cigarette case. Then he continued, "How about tomorrow night we start this rodeo?"

I couldn't help but grin back after that cute question. I answered with something I have never before said in my life, yet in a low voice so no one could hear, "Yee Haw," and felt like a total dumbass for saying it. He really laughed then.

We finished our coffee and he walked me to my car and as we were saying goodnight, he took my hand and kissed the top of it. Before I could say a word, he said, "Candace, it was only a gesture from a gentleman to a Lady."

I told him thank you, sat down in my car, looked up at him. He was so handsome and so tall standing there. I really didn't want to go, but I said goodnight and went home, trying to figure out if I had done the right thing by agreeing to this arrangement.

I had to close up again that next night. I got the feeling Deann was not feeling well when she asked me to close up shop at lunch break. I was right, for in her usual whiney voice, she said, "Candy, if it's not too much to ask, could you close up the shop again tonight? I'm gonna go home early. I am just not feeling well at all and these damned headaches I've been having are not getting any better." I could have corrected her again, for the hundredth time, but I just said, "Sure sweetie, I'll take care of everything."

Then she asked if I would open in the morning, that she had a doctor's appointment and wouldn't be in until the afternoon. I again told her I would and anytime she needed me I would be here for her. She hugged me so hard and dug her two inch nails into my back. I just smiled and went right back to work. Later that evening, while finishing out the register, I remembered the business card Sean had given me. I took it out of my cigarette case and it read, "Sean Michael's Photography."

According to the address, he was right in the courtyard of the shopping complex, four doors up from Deann's shop! I was so surprised, thinking, he was that close and never came into the shop in the two and a half months I had been working here. What kind of relationship did they have? Oh well, it was none of my concern, I decided. So I called him and he said tonight was perfect and to come on over. His voice was so sexy. I have got to quit thinking of things like that.

It was dark outside, but I was within walking distance and even though the front of his studio was dark, I knocked on the glass door. I noticed in the moonlight a doorbell with a sign above it that read, "After Hours Ring Bell." So, I rang the bell. From a long hallway, in the far back, I saw a light come from a door being opened and I recognized his tall figure as he came to unlock the front door. I walked in and he said, "Well, I thought you had decided to do a no show."

I replied somewhat snottily, "I always keep my appointments. You know I had to close up? I am just a little late."

He smiled in the dark, showing his straight white teeth from the illuminating lights in the back and said, "Good," follow me. Be careful, I have to keep the lights off in the front so no one will bother me when I am working late." He held out his soft, smooth hand to guide me and I gave him mine.

I followed him to the very back of the building and into a large room. It was definitely a photographer's studio. Wide pieces of material of different types and colors lay in piles on the floor, lighting equipment, and a long table in the corner with scented candles. Curiosity got the better of me and I asked, "What are the candles for?"

He answered quickly, sounding prepared, "That's for the nude models." Opening my mouth to speak, he interrupted, "Candace, it's all in the lighting, Darlin'. Don't worry yourself. Remember, you don't pose nude."

"Umphhhh," I thought. He is too smooth. I bet he has all kinds of women coming here late at night. No wonder he doesn't go see Deann at the shop! He broke my train of thought with, "The dressing room is back in the right corner behind the black curtain."

I walked to the back with my duffle bag I had packed that morning with about six different outfits inside. Sean told me to bring a swimsuit, a sexy dress, the black one I wore when he first met me, which surprised me that he remembered. I got so flustered; I grabbed all those things, plus a nighty. After getting behind the curtain I asked, "What do you want me in first?"

He answered back, "You pick."