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By El Sol (address withheld)


I had managed to get a job in a summer camp in Maine, but I had to start right away because the owner wanted to renovate and needed the extra bodies. It meant no summer vacation for me until the last two weeks of August, but I needed the money especially since I wanted to live off-campus the next semester so it wasn't so bad.

The best part of the whole situation was since it was in the middle of nowhere I had nothing to spend my money on. As soon as I was asked I said yes and was on a 24 hour bus ride to Maine.

I was watching the crowd as they entered the bus, just over the chair in front of me. I had gotten there first and headed straight for the back. The bathroom was right next to me so that was a minus but no one could sit behind me which was a bigger plus. I had taken a bus out to college, and learned one thing, three angles of attack by the odor and habits of other people was too much. I even had my backpack in the chair next to me hoping to prevent other people from sitting there.

The traffic to the bus died quickly, and the bus driver got in. I thought I had gotten lucky. I saw a lot of my school's sweatshirts so I figured this was be the yearly migration out and hopefully only college students would be on the bus.

I wasn't that lucky.

Several older people got on; a few larger people that I was happy to see sit up front. The bus driver started to get in and out of the bus as if he wanted to get moving. As it was, I was hoping we would get moving too.

No such luck.

A mass of people came out of the station and started heading to our bus. I started looking around panicked.

Counting, counting.

Shit, a good chance of having a partner.

She broke from the pack.

It was a girl about my age, long hair streaming back as she ran for the bus obviously trying to get a choice of seats. She hit the door of the bus, made a rough turn, and jetted towards the back and me. She hit a wall when she saw me.

She was pretty in a very ordinary way, but the best part of it was she didn't look that she would acquire a ripe stench after a few hours in the bus.

She looked at me obviously frustrated at my having gotten there first. I took my bag out of the seat next to me. I could see her start to sniff at the suggestion. I raised a hand to stop her making the decision and then having to stick with it because of pride. I pointed to a certain gentleman in the same aisle she was in.

He was taking up more than his seat.

She got the message. She walked back and took off her book bag sticking in the overhead rack. I smiled as she plopped down in the seat.

"Don't think I'm gonna forgive you taking my seat that easily," she said. I could hear the laughter in her voice as she looked at the incoming crowd and shuddered.

"I'll be quiet, I swear. Won't talk to you." I told her.

She had obviously traveled some because she broke into loud laughter. She was wearing a pair of jean shorts with a school sweatshirt on. It had been a little chilly that morning so I didn't question the outfit, I had already hid my sweatshirt in my backpack. She was watching the crowd nervously, counting people and seats.

I said "I think we might get lucky."

She looked at me, "How?"

I pointed at some of the people, "They look like family, or at least close friends. They're gonna want to stick together. The chairs in the middle are their best bet. The loners look mean, they'll want to be in the middle too just to make the family people uncomfortable talking. I already counted and there's just enough to leave the back rows empty."

She looked me like I had to be crazy.

"First time on a bus?"

She nodded.

I pointed towards the overweight guy three rows in front of us, "As soon as the bus moves, he's gonna start sweating and that sweat is gonna build. I'm on here for 24 hours if he's for that much time he'll sweat enough to stain the seats."

I saw her eyes widen.

"You're not supposed to be on this bus?" I asked her.

"No." she said guiltily. "My parents sent me a plane ticket but they're not gonna be at the airport. They expect me to take a cab home, so I returned the ticket for cash."

I nodded, "And pocketed the extra money."

She started to nod but changed her mind.

She leaned back against the bathroom cubicle's wall, and crossed her legs on the seat. She was looking at the people more intently watching for anyone crossing into our designated territory.

The bus stopped filling up and the closest anyone got to us was two rows in front of us. She sighed in relief, but didn't look like she wanted to move up.

"You can stay back here." I said.

She looked at me nervously also.

"I'm harmless, I swear."

She rolled her eyes, telling me that just maybe I would say I was a serial killer if she needed to know. I smiled at her.

"Well, you can sit back here for now. But if you move up now and someone notices you, they might come back and sit down with you. You're going to have to deal with someone hitting on you for however long this bus ride is."

"And you won't?"

I tilted my head to the side.

"I'll make you deal." I said. "Cause I really don't want to HAVE to hear somebody hit on you for the rest of my bus ride."

She looked at me curiously.

"You protect me from having to give this seat to someone else, and I won't hit on you."

"Someone else."

"Oh, yeah this bus stops in other places and picks up people. Let's them off too, but we could get unlucky."

Her hand flew out so we could shake on it.

She was attractive but not having to share a seat with someone bigger than her was a good enough reason to kill any shot with her.

I hadn't been all that successful my first year of college in that department anyway. Why ruin a perfect record?

I settled back as the bus driver started the bus. We pulled out of the station. A lot of the finals', and moving out stress hit me all at once. I felt my body just drop into exhaustion. I put my head back and looked up at the overhead rack; my eyes barely able to focus. I had stayed up the entire night trying to make sure I didn't miss the early bus, making sure the room was left perfectly, and trying to figure out how the hell the next semester would work for me. I closed my eyes and the rumble of the bus knocked me out.

A whinily insistent voice woke me.

"Excuse me, I need to use the bathroom."

"Excuse me."

I woke up slowly, knowing if I let the voice wake me too suddenly I was going to bash someone's head in.

We had both fallen asleep and in our sleep our bodies had come to an accommodation.

She had her back to me, lying mostly on my hip and legs, her legs were sticking into the aisle blocking the bathroom door. I was lying with my head to the window, my legs in her leg space.

"Excuse me." the voice came again.

This time it woke her. She sat up and backed away from the woman; pressing herself tightly against me. I got my arm out of her way but had nowhere to put it but around her front. She latched onto it, obviously not knowing why the hell this woman was almost yelling at us, but knowing I was some kind of support.

The woman opened the bathroom door, still pissed at us. The girl turned and moved away from me. She was looking at me with her eyes wide and rolling. I started laughing; she immediately broke into laughter.

"Excuse me." she mimicked in between bouts of laughter.

We quieted down when the bathroom door opened to let the woman out. She looked down her nose at us before walking towards the front of the bus.

"Excuse me." the girl mimicked again.

We smiled at each other. I tried to stretch as much as I could. She did also. I tried to hide the fact that I was paying attention because she had removed the sweatshirt and the stretching was doing interesting things to the front of her t-shirt.

I stopped looking when we made eye account. She was laughing at me.

The bus driver used the intercom to tell everyone we would be making a food stop.

I looked at my watch and said "Well, I slept for four hours that's not so bad. When did you fall asleep?"

"About 30 seconds after you did." in a giggle.

"Hey, we'll get to use a good bathroom."

She nodded in appreciation.

"Do we get to eat there or do we have to bring it back?" she asked.

"We eat there. There's no real garbage facilities on the bus. We'll probably get like a half hour, especially if it's a pick-up. They'll have to unload baggage and take in new passengers."

"But someone could take our seats." she protested.

I pointed at the overhead rack saying "We put the bags on the seats make a real mess of the area. Well, a relative mess that stakes a claim."

She nodded.

"My name's Elvis by the way." I said.

She looked at me.

"Ask my mom, I had nothing to do with it."

"Jessica," she told me.

We looked forward as the bus made the turn into the station.

The bus came to a full stop and people started piling out as fast as they could. I saw some pretty rough shoving going on in front. Jessica looked at me and broke into laughter. We waited for everyone to get off the bus before we put all our carry-ons in the seats. We started walking off the bus. She stopped halfway down to see the wrestling match that was going on for luggage beside the bus.

"Do they lose baggage?" she asked me.

"No, usually people steal it." I replied.

She started running out of the bus. I had to hold on to the chair because I was laughing so hard. Another reason to get on the bus early, it puts your baggage all the way in the back of the storage.

I walked outside to see Jessica shuffling from one foot to the other occasionally bending down to see where her bag was. She stood up quickly one time, and looked over at me. She walked over.

"It's still there and everyone that is getting off left," she sighed it out.

I smiled at her but broke down into laughter.

Her mouth opened into a wide oh, and she punched me in the chest. I couldn't stop laughing though. She kept punching me harder each time.

"Alright, alright. I'll stop laughing." I said. "But you looked so scared.", breaking down again.

She started shoving me toward the door of the bus station. I went willingly.

I opened the door and motioned her through. She walked just inside the door and stopped. I hadn't noticed so I walked right into her. I put my hands on her hips so that she wouldn't fall over, her hands came down on top of mine for balance.

I looked around to see what had made her stop.

It was the station.

It was dingy. I mean there was an thin layer of dust over everything. I could see overflowing garbage cans. I took a firmer grip on her hips, and started walking backwards out of the place with her firmly in tow. She didn't fight me.

She started trying to get out faster than I was so she bumped into me. I finally noticed how much shorter than me she was. My crotch hit her just above her ass.

I started an internal chant about some kind of bargain we had made, I think with the devil.

I must have spoken out loud, because when we were both standing outside and had separated, she looked at me funny.

"What was that?" she said smugly.

"I was cursing our little bargain where I can't hit on you." I said.

The smug smile dropped off her face.

I started walking to the other side of the bus. I figured there had to be some kind of deli or fast food place around here. I tried to remember the stop from Christmas, but it didn't help. My mom usually made sure I had enough to eat on the trips. small garbage bag.

I spotted a deli sign on the corner of the block across the street from us. I turned around Jessica was walking towards me.

"Hey, look." I said pointing to the deli.

She smiled and started running across the street. I started running after her. We got there almost at the same time.

"Why are we running?" I asked.

"The bus will leave won't it," she said.

"Not for another half-hour." I told her.

"They wait that long?" she asked.

"That's what the sign in the station said." I explained.

We walked inside. The place was much, much cleaner than the bus station. We both sighed in obvious relief. Then Jessica noticed the customer bathroom and sighed even deeper. She headed straight for it. I could see the guy behind the counter giving us a smile that said he had seen people like us many times before.

I said hi to him, and ordered a sub and some potato salad. I started looking around for some food I could safely take on the bus and canister of air freshener.

I heard Jessica ordering behind me as I was trying to decide between scented or unscented. She came up beside and started watching me.

"Which do you prefer scented or unscented?" I asked her.

"What do you need them for?" she asked back.

"The fat guy was eating in the station. He didn't take any luggage of the bus. I think he's in for the long haul and I saw clear wet spots around his armpits."

"It can't get that bad." she said trying to say it knowingly.

The counter guy broke out into laughter. We weren't being all that quiet about it.

She turned around to look at the counter guy.

"Listen to the boy, miss. He's speaking the gospel truth." He informed her.

She turned around and grabbed the biggest canister on the rack, turned to look at me.

"I'll split the cost with you."

"Done." I said.

We paid the counter guy. She was moping around. I headed out the door and to the bus. She hurried to catch up with me.

"What's the hurry?" she asked me.

"The bus." I said.

"But it isn't leaving for a half hour." she said trying to get a potato chip in her mouth and keep up with me.

"Ah, but that's what the sign said. It doesn't mean the bus driver can't catch a tude and leave early."

I started running for the bus. I heard an angry gasp behind me and her chasing after me.

We made it around the front of the bus, I looked inside and saw no bus driver.

"We're cool." I said over my shoulder.

I moved to sit on the step-up to the station.

She sat down next to me.

"You were just fucking with me, weren't you?" she asked me as she looked for a way to attack the huge sub she'd bought.

I looked over at her. I had gotten less stuff on mine. I wanted to laugh because she couldn't figure out how to eat it.

"Yeah."

She bumped me with her hip. She decided to take apart the sub and make it a salad, at least that's what it looked like when she spread it out on her napkin covered lap.

We started eating in relative peace.

"Why'd you take the bus over the flight?" I asked her trying to find any sign of pickles in my sub.

She mumbled something.

"Why'd you take the bus over the flight?" I asked again.

She sighed and looked at me in frustration.

I smiled at her.

"I painted my room." she said attacking the sub angrily.

"What?"

"Me and my roommate are art majors; so we got this bright idea to paint murals on our walls, ceilings and floors."

I started choking from the laughter.

"It looked pretty cool." she protested.

I nodded but tried not to spit food from laughing.

She punched me.

"I didn't know the school charged you so much for painting your room back to that ugly off-white."

"Please, just stop." I managed to wheez out. My stomach was beginning to hurt from laughing.

She carefully laid her sandwich down, took mine out of mine hands, and pounced on top of me punching me repeatedly.

"Okay, okay." I managed to get out.

She punched me one last time for good measure before she went back to eating her sandwich.

"So how was your freshman year?" she asked in an obvious bid to change the subject.

"Not great, but I got everything I needed to get done. So I guess it was alright."

"That wasn't really informative."

"Well, you could have been more specific."

"Alright, what was the best part of last year for you."

"Only, if you answer each question too." I replied.

"Okay, that's fair." She had for the most part done enough damage to the sub it seemed and she was trying to find a way to clean herself.

"The best part of my freshman year?" I thought about it for a few minutes before I answered.

"Two things. I made dean's list both semesters and I earned the varsity slot in my weight class."

"Oh, a scholarly jock."

I could taste the disdain in her voice.

"That from someone that painted murals on her dorm room walls."

"Hey jerk! Those paintings had meaning."

"Uhuh.... Expensive meaning." I couldn't hold the laughter in again.

She sniffed and looked away until I got control again.

"So what was the best part of your year?" I asked her, wiping my hands to get rid of the lettuce stuck on them.

"Painting my room." she said brightly.

I tried not to laugh.

"And making the dean's list for both semesters." she said it smugly.

"Ahh, a scholarly artist, huh."

She gave me a mean look. I decided it might be best to leave all of that right where it was.

"So what was the worst part." she asked me.

"Can I plead the fifth?" I asked trying not to smile remembering the scene with my mom.

"Oh no! If you answer it, I'll answer it. But you have to be honest."

"How do I know if I'm honest that you'll be honest?" I asked her.

"You don't but then again I don't know if you're being honest, do I?" she replied.

"Alright, the worst part, huh?"

She nodded vigorously.

"Six unused condom boxes, and the twelve packs at that." I replied blushing.

"What?"

"It was my mom, I swear."

"What does your mom have to do with six unused twelve pack condom boxes?" she asked obviously trying to hold back laughter.

"Well, I was going away. she thought, you know, college, freedom, sexual experimentation, AIDS, herpes," I said and trying to imitate my mom's voice "and god knows what else. She decided to make sure I would be safe. Now, I have to explain to her why not one of the boxes is open."

She started laughing.

"Hey, it's not funny. She's not going to believe I didn't have sex. She's just going to assume I didn't use them when I was having sex."

She laughed even harder, "Why don't you just lie?"

"You don't know my mom. I can't lie to her for shit."

The bus driver started heading for the bus, so I got up and reached down to help her up. She kept laughing as I pushed her towards the bus.

She got in the bus, and started heading towards our seats while slowly gaining control. She handed bags to me so I could put them into the overhead, and then let me into the window seat. She sat down.

"Okay, what was the worst part of you year then?"

"Paying for the rooms being painted." she said before breaking down into laughter again, I joined her for a few minutes.

We finally stopped.

"Come on, be serious. I admitted I spent the entire year sexless. You can at least be honest with me."

"Alright, alright. The worst part." she quieted down and looked out the window past me.

"I guess my roommate's boyfriend." she said.

I looked at her curiously.

"He was always around. It kept pointing out that I didn't have anyone. Anytime we went out I was that third wheel. It kinda sucked."

I nodded.

"It would have been easier if Mark hadn't tried to fix me up with every single guy that he knew."

"What was wrong with them?"

"Mark is the artsy type, so all he knows are artsy guys. Have you ever met artsy guys?", she asked me.

"Umm, no. They usually avoid jocky guys."

She laughed at that but continued, "Well, they are probably as bad as I think the jocky guys are."

"Ohh." I said. "How come only this Mark tried to fix you up, why not your roommate too?"

"It was a stroke of genius."

"Really?"

"Okay, after the third dating disaster, I cut a deal with my roomy. I would go with her to all the sporting events her boyfriend wouldn't go with her to, and she wouldn't even mention my alone status or how this guy was just so right for me."

"Sporting events?" I asked.

"She's a jocky-artsy type."

"What?"

"It a really long story."

"I have time." I said pointing at the rest of the bus.

"Okay, her dad wanted a little boy, but instead he got four little girls. So when my roomy was born and her mom couldn't have anymore children he decided this new little girl was all his to raise how he wanted. So she played little league, peewee football, got to talks to her daddy about sports and watches sports, and loves sports etc, etc."

I nodded curiously.

"So she's on the softball team, and she absolutely has to attend any sporting event for the school that's on campus and root HER team on."

"Caroline" I said.

She nodded.

"You're Caroline's roommate." I said a lot of little things falling into place.

"You know her?" she asked me.

I nodded carefully.

"Well, her boyfriend hates going to sports stuff so Caroline had to go alone, but I made that deal. She leaves me alone and I go to everything with her."

I nodded again.

"It's worked out so far."

I sat quietly staring out the window at the passing countryside. The sky was beginning to turn grey and we seemed to be heading towards even darker cloud cover.

"She knows everything about you, you know." she interrupted my thinking of nothing.

"Really." I said.

"Yeah, she said that we were lucky to have you wrestling for our school just about any program would love to have you. That your really too good to be wrestling for such a small school. Yadda yadda yadda."

She looked as if she was building up courage to ask something.

"Woulduposeforme?" she got it out really fast.

"Would I what?" I asked surprised.

"Would you pose for me, you know as in for a sculpture." Her voice strengthened as she gained confidence.

"Why?" I asked.

"Cause you're like this god athlete or something." she said angrily.

"No, I'm not. I wrestle. That's it." I said beginning to get pissed.

"Why'd you come here anyway? Caroline says you could have gone to any school." she was trying to change the subject again.

"My mom." I said looking out the window.

"Your mom?"

"Yeah."

"Come on your not leaving it there. I mean you could've gone to some really good schools."

I sighed.

"I would have had to cut a lot of weight, because I'm so short."

"What weight?" she said looking at me up and down.

"For wrestling, I would have had to drop weight divisions but my doctor my senior year in high school said I was a very late bloomer and was still gaining natural body weight. If I went to a big program, I would have had to cut too much weight."

She nodded.

"I talked to the coach here, and he said he would let me wrestle at the weight my doctor felt was best for me to stay healthy. My mom kinda went ballistic when she heard what weight the bigger programs wanted me to wrestle at."

"Kinda?" she asked.

"I think there was something in there about 'over my dead body.'"

"So you settled for here?" she asked.

"No. I chose here. I get to do it my way." I replied maybe in some ways still trying to convince myself.

"Why does the weight thing matter?" she asked me quietly.

"I'm really short for my weight class, and I'm not growing any taller but I'm still gaining bulk. By my senior year, I should be up another 24 pounds in natural growth."

She nodded for me to continue.

"I'm shorter already than just about anybody in my weight division. I'm going to be moving up into divisions where I'm gonna be the shortest in the country in that division. It's always a question of who gets used to me being that short first. Me wrestling a guy with reach and usually better leverage, or him wrestling someone awkwardly smaller and with better balance."

"You seemed to do well enough." she said.

I looked at her.

"Been to a few home matches?" I asked.

"Caroline." she explained.

"Yeah, I do okay right now. But as I go up in weight if I keep wrestling at a comfortable weight I've got to hope the competition can't handle my size or else I find another sport. At least, I'm naturally stronger than they are so that's another advantage."

"So are you gonna pose for me?" she asked suddenly.

"Why do you want me to pose?" I asked her seriously.

"Cause you're a lot different than what we get in our classes, or when we put in ads." her voice was starting to drift dreamily, "I mean how can I make this beautiful sculpture of a human body without a beautiful body to work with."

"A beautiful body." I said raising my eyebrows.

"You know what I mean. David wasn't a slouch. Part of it is that you capture this body so close to perfection and you freeze it in that perfection for as long as the statue lasts."

I sat listening to her. I didn't really have anything in my life except my mom that I could talk with the love she seemed to have for her subject.

"I watched you wrestle in the first home tournament, and I went to every one after."

I leaned back against the window.

"I took the school busses to the events," she said to me pointedly, "I took rides. I mean you move great but every now and then you would stand still and.."

She looked at me as if she was trying to reach something inside me.

"You would stand on the mat not moving except for like a shake here or there to loosen yourself but it wasn't a physical loosening it was like you were trying to shake off doubt. I could feel my hands molding the clay to capture the way the muscles on your neck looked when you did that halfmotion shake of your head."

"God, if I had you posing I could work in any stone. I wouldn't be nervous about it. I'd just work, you know what I mean."

I nodded, I didn't really know what she meant but I didn't want her to know that.

"You don't do you."

I shook my head.

She sighed.

"Would you just pose for me?"

"Nude?"

She blushed but nodded seriously.

"How about in my wrestling gear?" I asked trying to lighten the mood.

She smiled at me but was still watching me closely.

I looked out the window.

"If you make something I can give my mom as a wedding present; I'll pose for you anytime you want."

"Your mom is getting married?"

I nodded with an annoyed pucker on my lips.

"You're not happy."

I sat up uncomfortably.

"Nah! I'm just jealous."

She started laughing.

"You admit that?"

"Hell, yeah. I've had her all to myself for like 15 years. And now she wants to get married and they're talking a new baby or maybe an adoption. I'm happy for her because I'm not there but I'm still jealous." I said it all really fast, and crossed my arms on my chest.

She laughed, and I joined her in the laughter eventually.

"When's the wedding?" she asked.

"The fourth week of August. I'll get home from my summer job and be thrown into wedding preparations."

She smiled at me.

"I'll be giving away the bride." I said proudly.

The smiled warmed.

We watched the beginning of a lightning storm outside the window.

She got closer to be able to look outside until she was leaning over me. We watched as lightning bolts colored the sky from time to time.

She turned all of a sudden and we were face to face. I watched her knowing that I had promised not to do anything. She was very pretty and miniature films started running through my head. I started wondering if she would have to touch me to know exactly how the clay would have to feel as she molded it.

I started to harden.

She didn't move, we just sat there looking at each other.

"How come they went unused?" she asked.

"What?" I asked trying to concentrate on words instead of exactly how close to me her lips were at that moment.

"The condoms. How come they went unused? I mean your a big fish in a little pond." as she said it she moved away so that she wasn't leaning over me but she was still very close to me.

I shrugged.

"Come on. I told you why I stayed alone. The artsyfartsy guys."

"Alright."

I was staring out the window again trying to figure out how to put a lot of jumbled emotions into words.

"I didn't want just sex. My mom wasn't just my mom. She was my best friend and a lot of time because of wrestling and school she was my only friend. I was probably her only friend for a long time too. I can't disappoint her after driving 500 miles to a wrestling tournament or coming to school at even the slightest sign of trouble. She would like me to have more than just sex, and somewhere along there she taught me just sex wasn't enough; so now I want more."

I looked at her, she was studying me again.

"It alright for the physical act to be just sex, but that doesn't mean it can't be with someone I care about. You know?"

"But then it wouldn't be just sex."

"Hmm, it's sex with someone you like, respect, and care about."

"That's not just sex."

"Sure, it is."

"No, it's not."

"Why not?"

"Just sex, is you know, you don't care about them you want one thing and if you get it, you're fine with that, and if they get something good out of it that's a bonus."

"No, that's fucking."

"You rate them."=

"Yeah, there's fucking, having sex, and making love. Fucking, it's like you want a piece and if you never see them again, oh well. Having sex is you want them to come back so you make damn sure they have as much fun or more than you but to it's still a little selfish, depending on the person you're with its either really selfish or not so selfish."

I watched one crisp lightning bolt flash across the sky only to reach up and hug another cloud.

"What about making love?" she asked.

"I don't know, but it's got to more than anything I've ever done."

I watched a car pass us.

"Or at least I hope it's more."

We sat quietly for awhile; each in our own little worlds.

I noticed that she was shivering and rubbing her arms up and down.

"Want a blanket?" I asked her.

"A blanket?"

"Hey, three bus trips so far. I know what the necessities are."

She smiled at me and nodded.