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I still had hopes--when I finally nodded off to sleep-that this was just a sim, but I got a rude shock when I woke up later, still in the same room and still rather woozy. Although Dr. Derwanger had released my handcuffs, I soon realized that he must have given me some kind of narcotic, lessening the chance I might escape. Indeed, the door was unlocked, but I had no idea which way was out. Outside, I wandered through a maze of poorly-lit corridors-stumbling in my sandals--before I met another human being.

That other person was a stocky woman with a dirty apron, who was cooking something in a rudimentary kitchen, but she didn't seem to understand what I was saying when I spoke to her.

"Ich kann nicht verstehe," she said, with a shrug.

"This is Berta," Dr. Derwanger said from behind me-startling me with his sudden appearance--"my housekeeper. She doesn't speak English, but her cooking should keep you alive."

"What the hell--?" I asked, spinning around (and promptly falling on my ass), "where the hell am I?"

"Careful there," Derwanger said; "I wouldn't want you to hurt yourself and have a miscarriage."

"Am I...pregnant?"

"Time will tell. Of course--once we confirm you are pregnant-I'll have to remove the child during the first trimester; otherwise, the embryonic tissue would be less useful to me."

"You sick fuck!"

"Ah, feisty," Derwanger said. "I like that. It's probably a good thing you're drugged, or you might do something foolish.

"But come," he said, grabbing my arm and pulling me upright; "let's fuck."

With my head spinning and my butt aching, I could hardly resist him; still stumbling in my high heels, I felt Derwanger drag me into a side storeroom, then set me on a ledge and lift my dress to fuck me; his face was expressionless, but he battered my cunt until it was gooey with our juices, then poured a fresh load of sperm deep inside my hole.

In fact, Dr. Derwanger was keen to fuck me in all kinds of strange places; between sex, he let me wander anywhere I liked-discovering my new home was a windowless complex with no obvious exit, and only Berta and Derwanger for company--then took me wherever he found me. Often that was in my room--the room where he first fucked me-or in the washroom next to my room; but he also fucked me in the corridors, and his personal library (where all the books were old and printed in German).

And more than once he interrupted my simple meals to fuck me on the kitchen table. Derwanger admitted that my food was drugged, so I took his abuse with listless ambivalence, padding about the complex in my bare feet and unwashed dress. Indeed, I was only barely fazed when a pregnancy test revealed I was carrying Dr. Derwanger's baby.

"Very good," Derwanger said, patting my belly. "I'll have to remove this baby from your womb, soon, but I'm sure we'll make a lot more later."

"You're a monster," I said, weakly; "how could you kill your own child?"

"It's all for the good of science, my dear. You wouldn't understand."


By-and-by, Derwanger let slip that my new home was actually a vast bomb shelter underneath his real house on the surface. Derwanger seemed to anticipate an apocalyptic war that only far-sighted people like himself would survive, so he kept extensive supplies-and a secret laboratory I never saw--hidden there in the shelter. Evidently, Magda was the only person outside the shelter whom Derwanger trusted with his secret.

Knowing Derwanger planned to kill my baby, though--and breed countless more before he was done-gave my life the aspect of a pure nightmare. Although I was pregnant, Dr. Derwanger still insisted on fucking me at least once a day, now adding anal sex to augment my torture. Thus, when I laid down to try to sleep, I could only curl up in torment, thinking of my unborn child, and the lingering pain from my torn-up ass.

Yet the nightmare ended almost as suddenly as it began. Wandering about the complex one day, I was knocked to my feet by a flash-bang grenade, and stunned by the sudden appearance of a SWAT team. I don't know what became of Derwanger--evidently, he escaped-but I later learned that it was Magda herself who tipped off the police. Evidently, Magda wanted more monetary compensation for her part in Derwanger's scheme, and ratted him out when he refused. That she would go to jail herself was just a happy side benefit for me.

As for me, it took a while for the police to figure out that I actually was still Dana Burrows--they simply couldn't believe a grown man could be so completely transformed. However, my DNA was still the same as before, and my teary-eyed wife Maddie-utterly shocked at my condition-confirmed that I was the same person after she talked with me.

If I thought my story would have a happy ending, though, I was wrong. Even with Derwanger's laboratory to study, university doctors told me they had no idea how to turn me back into a man-and Maddie was horrified when she learned I was pregnant with Derwanger's baby. When I came home from the hospital, I noticed our children were gone, and my wife explained that she didn't want them to see me the way I was.

I tried to explain that I was still the same person I was before, but the last straw for Maddie was my decision to keep the baby; now that the baby had been saved from Derwanger, I could not bear to have an abortion. Maddie simply felt I was crazy-refusing to accept the idea of having that child in her house--and our ensuing argument ultimately ended our marriage. We separated, and were soon divorced.

Of course, I wasn't really alone--countless university doctors wanted to study me, and I held out a faint hope they could somehow turn me back into a man. As it was, being female was awkward; I didn't feel at home in the world of women or men, and the Joycor board of directors wasn't happy with the adverse publicity about my condition. Soon they bought me out behind my back, and-when I tried to fight them in court-I lost both the lawsuit, and most of my money paying attorney fees.

I was a very lonely person, then, by the time I first felt the baby kick in my belly. My "friends" at the university told me I was going to have a daughter, but-living alone in a rented apartment-I knew in my heart I had no business trying to raise her. Late in my second trimester, I arranged to have the baby adopted after she was born, and I remembered the hell of Dr. Derwanger's bomb shelter every time I tried to sleep at night, and felt his baby move inside me.

Eventually, nine months after Derwanger first fucked me, I was a bloated and miserable character. One of the university doctors-a kindly, older woman-offered to serve as my birthing coach, but her memories of her own painful deliveries just made me all the more uncomfortable. Yet I did want the baby out of me; at full term the baby was huge, and it felt like she was all arms and legs inside me-kicking me at all hours of the day and night.

Waddling around the apartment, I had a constant reminder of the baby's father in every pain I felt-from my milk-swollen boobs to my perpetually-full bladder, my aching back and my swollen ankles...

But that kind of pain was nothing compared to labor and delivery; two days overdue, the contractions came suddenly hard and close together, but I would wait twelve agonizing hours before my water finally broke. Only then-in pain beyond anything I could have imagined--did I finally give birth, pushing out a healthy little baby girl. At first, her appearance startled me-I didn't realize she would come out covered in a waxy white substance-but Dr. Sanger (my male obstetrician) assured me she was a perfectly healthy girl-7 pounds, 8 ounces.

For her, at least, there was the opportunity of a normal life; for me, that would never be a possibility. When I finally fell asleep afterward, I held no realistic hope for the future.


"Mr. Burrows, are you all right?"

Waking up, I was startled-I remembered the pain of delivery and winced reflexively-but I was not in the hospital. I was still on the couch in my office, wearing the V.R. suit, but Magda (who was kneeling beside me) had evidently removed my helmet. Reaching down, I felt my penis through the suit, and-frankly-I was shocked I still had one!

"What happened?" I asked.

"You must have had a vivid fantasy," Magda said; "I had to disconnect the helmet to wake you up!"

"But it was so real..." I said; "I can still feel the pain..."

"What pain?"

I couldn't answer for a moment, embarrassed to admit what had happened to a woman with children of her own.

"I had a baby. Dr. Derwanger raped me, and I had his child."

"Wow," Magda said, "that's not in the sim."

"It's a good thing you pulled me out," I said; "it felt completely real... and it lasted for months."

"That's normal for a vivid fantasy," Magda replied, "time gets distorted for the user. I'm just glad I came back here to check on you. I had a feeling you might want to try out the sim."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I've seen your confidential user profile. That says you're prone to transgender fantasies."

"Oh."

"I guess it's all my fault," Magda said. "I shouldn't have left you alone with the sim..."

"No, that's all right," I said; "I'm a big boy-I should have known better."

"Well, anyway, I'm just glad you're not in a coma. I called a doctor from the lab, and he should be up here any second to check you out."

"Oh, I'm sure I'm fine," starting to get up.

"All the same," Magda said-holding me down-"I'd rather you let him check you out. Why don't you just sit here and rest until he shows up."

"I am pretty tired," I admitted, "maybe I'll just close my eyes for a second..."

"There you go. Just lie back, and try to rest..."


I dozed off after that, but it seemed like just a second passed before the doctor Magda called was waking me up. It confused me for a moment that his voice-male and reassuring-sounded familiar, but I was too tired to place it...

"Dana?" he asked. "Are you all right?"

"Oh... I think I fell asleep..."

"Well, that was some labor you had--twelve hours! I just thought I ought to check in on you."

Suddenly, I shook with panic as I placed the voice-it was Dr. Sanger, the obstetrician! In a flash, it all came back-the pain in my head, my hips, my stomach--I was still a woman!

"Easy there, Ms. Burrows," the doctor said, seeing me start; "you okay?"

"Yeah. I was just...having a nightmare."

"I can imagine. It's hard to believe you're the first man who ever gave birth."

"Yeah," I said, finally relaxing, and submitting to reality.

"I have to admit," Dr. Sanger said, looking down with obvious wonder, "I am a little envious of you; I can only guess what it feels like for a woman to give birth. But-my God-that must have hurt what you went through."

"Yeah," I said, turning my head to face a window looking out on the dark night outside the hospital. "Yeah, it did..."

And it hurt even more so now that I'd had a glimpse of my former life. But that was the fantasy-the dream I had after giving birth. This was my reality now, and I could only wonder how much more pain it held for me in the future...