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By Secret Lover (secretlover@xoommail.com)

I'm married now with 2 little kids, but there was a time when I thought I'd never be married. In fact, just having a girlfriend beyond the one-date-every-6months variety was almost beyond my experience. I was lonely and horny as hell, but I kept myself busy, mainly with hobbies and so-called adventure sports.
The one "sport" I engaged in was caving, or spelunking, as non-cavers call it. I liked caving very much. Being lonely and somewhat unsure of myself socially, caving was almost a godsend. Cavers pretty much accepted all comers, being made up of a colorful, earthy and somewhat profane bunch of social rejects anyway.
I belonged to several caving clubs so that I could maximize my participation in all the various caving trips that were going out every weekend. My main club was the Baltimore Grotto (Grottos are local chapters of the National Speleological Society), but I also belonged to the D.C. Grotto (as in Washington, D.C.), and the Potomac Speleological Club (Northern Virginia).
It was at my first PSC meeting that I met Jason (not his real name).
Jason approached me when the meeting ended, saying that he had some projects he and his friends were working on. Would I like to come along and help out? Well, I was flattered to be let in on someone's caving project, knowing that such projects were difficult to get in on usually. You had to be at the right place at the right time and know the right people. I said sure, and we exchanged phone numbers.
Jason was a tall, dark-complected guy, and quite athletic. He had a disc jockey's voice and the "Hi, how ya doin'" manner of a salesman. I personally liked him because of his friendly, outgoing nature.
Still, there was something odd about him. Something I couldn't quite put my finger on. He gave off an almost feral aura, like there was something wild just beneath the surface. He seemed, well, dangerous a little bit. But again, on the outside he was good-looking and gregarious.
Heh. Little did I know that I was having those "feelings" that parents tell kids to look out for when encountering strange adults. "Funny tummy feelings," they call them. But I'm getting ahead of myself.
One of Jason's projects was the exploration of a high lead in, a cave in Southwest Virginia called Buddy Penley's. A beautiful, clean vertical cave, Buddy's is situated in a lovely meadow valley (called a "holler"). The truly outstanding feature of this cave is its 90' free-hanging drop a couple of thousand feet inside.
Jason and I met at his house in Fairfax, VA. He rented a house with a bunch of other guys, reminiscent of a frat house.
We drove down I-81 to Virginia Tech and met the other guys we were going caving with.
We met the one guy for dinner at his house. Turns out it was his parents' house and his dad worked at the university. It was the oddest dinner. Everyone was kinda quiet and the guy's mom and dad kept looking at me like I was going to explode.
I found out later that this was actually one of Jason's ex-boyfriends. I guess the parents somehow knew about Jason and thought I was his new squeeze!
We went over to Jason's girlfriend's apartment (yes, he had a girlfriend. He referred to himself as "one fuckin' horny motherfucker"), partied there, got wasted an passed out. Got up next morning, hurting and sick to continue to the cave itself.
Ah yes. The cave. The reason we went on the trip. So, we go caving, explore the lead and head on out. In the cramped passage at the top of the 90' drop I described earlier Jason and I were waiting for the others to finish ascending the rope, prior to exiting.
Granted, it was cramped there. He casually asks if he can lean against me. Yeah, sure whatever.
So he leans back against me. And starts to kinda cuddle. I was starting to get the message. There was more to his intentions than good cave trips.
Next day, he was following me all over, wanting to show me various other cave entrances. And it seemed damn strange now. It was really starting to dawn on me now that he was trying to get me alone. Poor guy. He must've had one raging hard-on for days.
Well, it wasn't to be. The trip wrapped up and we parted ways. For a few weeks, anyway.

Every year on Labor Day weekend down in West Virginia, there's a gathering of mostly East Coast cavers called Old Timers' Reunion. It's basically a multi-day campout filled with cave-oriented sports, naked hot tubs and saunas and other debauchery.
Well, it's the caving social event of the year! So I go, of course. And surprise! Jason's there! Heh.
So my poor little love-sick puppy starts following me around again. Now, stop and picture this. Skinny little Italian guy (me) being followed around by a 6'1" jock guy. OK?
Did I mention his girlfriend Anna was there? Mmmmm, Anna. One cute little half-Asian sweetie.

Fast-forward to after dark. Everyone's finished dinner, but the party hasn't really started up yet. I'm out wandering around when who should I bump into but good ole Jason.
Well I think Jason had had enough of waiting. He had to have me and he was going to get his way. He must've known somehow that I'd "cave in" (Heh, heh) that night. So we start walking around together along the various wooded trails near the camp ground.
He finally said to me what I knew already. That he was attracted to me and really wanted to be my first time. He further told me that he and Anna were soon to be engaged, but that he wanted a boyfriend to soothe the "yearning" he got so frequently.
I remember saying "no, no, no, I don't think so" over and over again. And he'd say, "C'mon, man, it'd be great. It'd feel soooooooo good."
Finally I said yes.
It was a cool, dewy September night and black as only a night can be in the mountains.
Jason and I clambered over a barbed wire fence into an overgrown pasture and made our way a safe distance from the road.
Jason and I sat down on the ground and he asked me what I wanted to do. It was one awkward question. I didn't want to be making decisions like this! Finally he said, "Well, I can suck it." And I said that that sounded fine with me.
I slid my jeans and underwear off. The cold, damp air felt so incredible on my bare skin. And man, was I hard. Rock hard. I was so aroused I almost couldn't catch my breath and my knees were shaking. The end of my cock was purple and shiny in the dusky light -and we hadn't even done anything yet!
I lay back on the ground, uncaring of the cold dew on the grass. Positioning himself in a 69 with me, he took my cock in his warm hands and slowly took it into his wet mouth.
Ever so slowly his head lifted and descended along my shaft. As he'd slide up, little slurping sounds would come from his mouth. Now, let me tell you that this felt damn fine.
Obviously, Jason knew what he was doing in the oral stimulation department. This wasn't some quick, furtive blowjob in the back of a car by some inexperienced teenage girl. This was simply exquisite.
After enjoying this for a while, Jason said he was very hard too. Would I like to feel it? I said sure and put a hand on his bulging sweatpants covered crotch as he went down on me again. I rubbed up and down on it for a bit, and I guess it was just too much for him. He reached down and slid his sweats down, revealing his hard-on.
I had never seen another guy's hard-on before, besides my own. Being a big guy, I had figured Jason would be really large down there. But he really wasn't any bigger than me.I reached out and touched his erect member, running a finger along its length.
Then I took matters "in hand" as if it were my own and started stroking it.
This was turning out to be very nice. Jason paused in his sucking action briefly choked out, "Can you suck it?" His voice was unexpectedly raspy and dry sounding. I realized it was from his level of arousal. He was so hot he could hardly speak. So, I drew his loins closer to my face and took his penis into my mouth too.
I didn't know what to expect. But the feeling of his hard-on filling my mouth was strange but good and his smell and taste were very clean and pleasant. I drew my teeth back and started sucking like a pro, copying what he was doing, sliding my tongue around the top of it. Suddenly I realized that I wanted to feel him cum in my mouth and worked that thang while Jason worked on me.
All this outrageous stimulation was getting to be too much for me. I started getting that tingly feeling all over my body, from my toes to my finger tips. I was going to blow it any time now. I started moaning and squirming around and Jason must've sensed that the end was near. He let go of my penis with his hands and, keeping my throbbing member in his mouth, he slid those hands around my pelvis under my butt. With a warm hand gently caressing each butt cheek he started sucking much harder and faster. Every moan that escaped my lips drew a moan from Jason as well. The sounds he was making were almost like a pathetic mewling, as if he were crying or in pain. But I knew what it was. He was in a nearly ecstatic state, a frenzy of horniness overwhelming him.
It was time. My cock was tingling so intensely from the stimulation that I tried instinctively to pull away. One might have the same kind of reaction to being held down and tickled mercilessly. Well, Jason wasn't having any of that! He held tightly to my butt with those strong, warm hands and kept up the wild sucking, accompanied by lurid slurping sounds. He was mewling continuously now and I was beyond moaning, with my head tipped back, gasping at the cold air.
When I finally came, it felt like a volcano had erupted. Jason kept sucking like a champ as I came and came and came into his now hot and slick mouth. I didn't remember making any sounds during this explosive orgasm, but Jason said that I was just about screaming for a couple of minutes straight as he sucked every drop from me.
We lay there under the moonlight in the dewy night for a while, listening to the night sounds. I wanted to do Jason now (I had released Jason's penis from my attentions when things got tingly for me), but he said that while he'd love to let me, he wanted to "save it" for his girlfriend! Well! Actually, it was OK. I'd had enough first experiences for one night anyway!
We pulled our rumpled, dewy clothes back on and headed back to the party. My crotch continued to throb for hours afterward.
I have scattered memories of the big party night. Like being absolutely bombed and nekkid in the hot tub. And looking over at the bonfire and seeing Jason nekkid over there and yelling over to him, "Yo! Jason!"
I remember wandering around the dance floor in the pavilion and bumping into Anna. Oh, she recognized me. But instead of saying hi or smiling or anything, she looked coldly into my eyes, and then did the flick up and down like I was something dead the cat had brought in. Hmmm. That got me thinking. I distinctly remember saying to myself in my head, "She knows." Knows what, you might ask. God knows what Jason (or someone else) said to her. But she knew.

Aftermath
A year later, at the next OTR, I ran into Jason again. He'd been pining for me this whole time, but I'd stopped returning his phone calls and he'd pretty much gotten the message, I suppose. Turns out his lovely little Anna had dumped him.
He started pressuring me big-time to be his boyfriend. He explained how scared he was about AIDS (this was soon after the first public announcement by the CDC) and that he wanted a full-time one-and-only friend.
Well, things had changed for me too. I'd brought a girl along to this OTR and I'd had plenty of time to figure out after my initial panic that I was basically straight. I explained all this to him and I could tell he was crushed. I felt terribly about it, but relieved as well now that it was out in the open.
I never saw Jason again after that, and I never did it with another guy. Down the years, though, I still get a yearning for that wild time we'd had; and even to this day, my masturbatory fantasies will occasionally feature that young, virile guy with the dark hair and that tan, rampant cock of his.